I hope you all were able to get outside and look at the miraculous full moon on display a couple nights ago. As always, the full moon gives us an opportunity to release what is no longer serving us. I am sitting outside in my yard here in Utah with a heart full of gratitude and wonder at the magic that has occurred in these last couple months.
Moving back here, where I grew up, gives me a huge introspective appreciation of who I am and where I came from. I also realized I had been hiding from life and resistant to making my way in this world. Playing small is no longer an option.
I also realized, I have so much karma from my ancestors I am clearing. Not only from both my grandmothers who were badass and became single mothers in their 30s. One had a farm to run, the other had 7 kids in a polygamist organization, that her husband started, but all the women and some men that came before me.
My grandmothers weren't able to be the women they wanted to be. Too many responsibilities, society or whatever kept them small. Continuing to hide and play small isn't fair to my ancestors at all. I am here to live the life they never got a chance to. What a huge fuckin responsibility and an absolute privledge. I've just got to do it. Live out loud, be the person I am and don't look back. Walk in this world in love, of love and as the essence of love and Be who I am.
In essence, I have them still with me. I am their DNA, I get to continue on where they left off and to not live on purpose or full on would be a huge disservice to them and to me. No more hiding. I have gone and done way too much to use anything as an excuse anymore. I just live the life I have always wanted one day at a time and do it. Whatever that looks like, appreciate where I am and who I am, and be proud of all of where I came.
Think back on what we know about our ancestors. Were they able to do all the things and live their best life or did they still have their song in them when they left this beautiful world. To continue on is an honor. I need to remember this daily. Thank you for the reminder, what a gift and a burden to lay down and reconfigure into a graceful gland, into what life has offered in their stead.
We are getting too bright to hide. Life will surprise us with opportunities that allow us to shine. We just have to get out of our own way. Our full shadow sometimes blocks the light we are afraid to let people see, since the shadow seems so solid, grounding and comfortable. What if we stepped aside and did that thing we have always been afraid to do...create magic in our world and for those around us.
Thank your ancestors for all their sacrifices and sit with them. Notice what still needs to be healed for ourselves and them. May we all find peace in the process and go into this season and live the lives that allow us soar.